I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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