And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
