Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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