You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
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God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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