YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
