Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
