And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
