I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
