I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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