You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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