Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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