there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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