I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize