btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
