he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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