I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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