somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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