When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
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On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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