garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
