i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think your dad took our porno
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
