I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
