maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
