Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
