His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize