Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
