no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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