Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just want to make out with him forever
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
