so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
