she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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