More tranny stories later!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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