their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
