So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
