Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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