i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
