omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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