Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
