Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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