this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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