4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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