Can Purell be used as lube?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
