I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
