grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
