Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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