her vagina looked like bernie madoff
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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