peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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