maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
