Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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