I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize