Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and she was petting her beer can
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
