i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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