You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just google imaged poop.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
