That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
