come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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