i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
