I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
