Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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