drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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