Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
high people should be assigned attendants
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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