No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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