how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
