I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
