Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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