What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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