.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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