Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
