Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
